Monday 2 June 2008
Hmm, self-indulgent twaddle? Definitely.
I've been re-reading my posts. Obviously, you found it interesting enough if you're back reading another one. I don't think I've gotten too far with my main goals. I'm still in Galway, still slogging away at a stressful job, still not published. Guess it would help if I actually finished writing something! I went to a children's book conference in Dublin in May, and that was very inspiring, but it's hard to maintain the momentum now that I'm back to the usual daily grind. Not that I'm complaining. The job is more challenging in terms of volume than I'd like, but on the whole, I'm really enjoying my new career as a technical writer.
Yoga and horse riding are still on the agenda. I'm still struggling with the yoga, but I'm actually kind of enjoying it now. And I've progressed in my horse riding to "cantering", which is one gear short of "galloping"! I have a way to go yet before I get that mastered, but it's fun to keep trying.
I'm still having problems with my guts but slowly learning to eat differently and waiting for my appointment with a dietician. All I can say is, don't let them take out your gall bladder unless it's absolutely necessary! I think because my stress manifests in my guts that's partly why I've had such a hard time adapting. Most of the people I know who've had the surgery say they've been fine afterwards. So there you go.
I'm happy to say that after three years in Ireland, I've managed to keep off most of the 35 pounds I lost. I'm still overweight, but it's definitely an improvement. Better for my health and better for my self esteem. I am doing some personal development work with a counsellor. We're using "cognitive-behavioural therapy", which is more pro-active than simply analyzing my past. This is more 'now'-focused and action oriented. We look at an issue and try to figure out how I can change the way I think, react, or behave so that the issue is reduced or eliminated, if it's something that I can change. Sometimes, it's about learning to let go. It's hard work, and I can be very defensive and even angry because I'm struggling to get past my own defense system to the very tender and vulnerable part of me that's hiding behind my barriers.
There's lot of stressful things happening right now, like the departure of a work colleague/friend, but I'm going to learn from my mistakes and try to deal with things so that I don't end up stressed out and anxious.
The only goal I haven't really achieved is my writing for kids. I'm still plugging away at my home-study course after a year and still haven't settled into a weekly routine of writing. I am focusing more on it now, though, so that I can get my first project out into the publishing world. Then we'll see what happens.
Well, it's not a bad life, really, when I stop being so critical. I have done lots of travelling, so that's a goal achieved. I'm working as a writer, so that's a goal achieved. I'm living in Ireland, so that's a goal achieved. Hmmm, maybe I'm doing better than I thought.
This isn't the most coherent blog, maybe it's a "stream of consciousness". Or maybe it's just twaddle. :O)